I have a favorite book store that i visit at least once a week. I love this book store. When ever i am stressed out i always go there and just wonder around until i feel better which doesnt take long because the clerks are getting to know me and we sit and talk about our favorite authors. Yesterday my bookstore was tainted by my ex-boyfriend the gremlin. While i will not post his name ( although i should so women can avoid feeding him after midnight so he wont reproduce ) i will tell you that he is called the gremlin for many reasons. I will go into those reasons at some point or another but right now lets focus on my bookstore. This makes me mad for one reason. Gremlin boy cannot spell let alone read so he had no buisness in my bookstore!! He knows i love that bookstore and he went there on purpose to leave his evil gremlin residue everywhere. My ex drives this orange and white ford that i call Mater. The truck is older than me and is barely running. It only has the drivers seat for some odd reason, rust is eating away at the frame, it's horribly loud and he's running it off of vegetable oil. Yes you read that right. He mixes Diesel and vegetable oil and somehow the truck still functions. My point is you can't miss that truck. We were driving by Gardners Books and there it was. MATER!! My blood pressure went through the roof. This may sound catty to you but some of you know what this feels like. You have a favorite bar that your ex hated until you broke up and then suddenly thats their new favorite spot. Gremlin boy and i had a nasty break up. During one of my many off months with Rob i decided that i just needed to get over him once and for all. I had waited many months for him to decide if he wanted to get back together and when he said he just didnt think it was going to happen i was heartbroken. The only way i can get over someone is to sleep with someone else. ( i know it's weird ) I had known the gremlin for a year and decided he was going to be my friend with benefits. I sent him a text and told him i needed to get over Rob so as a favor i needed him to sleep with me. He happily agreed. Gremlin boy comes over and i laid the rules down. The conversation went something like this.
Me: I dont want to be your girfriend, i dont want to have your kids, when it's over get up and leave unless we fall asleep or i ask you to stay, we are exclusively sleeping with each other so dont let me catch you sleeping with anyone else, i have the right to turn down any and all booty calls and i dont want to talk about our feelings afterwards. That shit is for chic flicks.
Gremlin boy: Damn your sexy....i love a woman that knows what she wants and how she wants it. Your feisty!
Me: You wouldnt think it was sexy if we were dating i can be a bitch and men are turned off by that for some reason.
Gremlin Boy: Not me. I think its hot when a woman speaks her mind and isnt afraid what other people think.
Me: I've heard this before. Are we going to get it on or what?
Gremlin boy: Can i kiss you?
And it went from there. His first mistake was asking to kiss me. What the hell are we back in high school? No sooner had i put my clothes back on he turns to me and says
Gremlin boy: So is there a possibility of a relationship?
Me: Did you serioulsy just ask me that?
Gremlin boy: Yeah i did. I think we would be good together if you would just give me a chance.
Me: Look i know how this goes. You start out trying to prove to me that your not like all the others and then when you have me you just stop.
Gremlin Boy: You dont know me too well then.
Was he ever right about that.
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